My New Perspective Life and Legacies

So this is a pretty personal post and I've got to admit I'm a little nervous sharing! However, I feel strongly not only about a truly holistic perspective but also an authentic one when it comes to our health and well-being so here we are. I've been pretty MIA from posting because I was feeling a little overwhelmed (for lack of a better word) between my business growing and needing to step back due some things happening in my personal life. (Side note: I don't really have a great system in place for keeping up with my blog posts so I will definitely be working on that because I have a lot to share!) In one of my last posts I talked about my intentions for 2018 and some of the things I touched on included resting when I need and taking time to reflect. Well I've been taking both of those quite literally lately! I've been taking my share of naps recently and really taking time to reflect not just on my goals, but something much bigger than the "right now": my legacy. Honestly I feel really dramatic for writing that but it's true! Ha! I'm only 28 so thinking about my legacy at this stage may seem strange, but some recent events really have the "big picture" for my life a ton lately. Three people I knew and loved passed away within the last six months. I guess as we age loss isn't all that uncommon as none of us is immortal and death is a normal part of life, but for me this is one of just a handful of experiences I have with people I really knew dying. Two were my grandparents and the other was my sweet friend Lauren Kuehn. Each one of them dying impacted me differently, but left me with similar thoughts and questions. The most pressing of those questions: What will my impact be here on earth after I transition? What am I doing daily to serve others? What does a healthy grieving process look like for me? 

One thing that I love about memorial services (as strange as that sounds) is watching everyone come together to share in their love and experiences with the deceased. I drove up to Dallas to attend my friend Lauren's memorial and although she was only 32 the church sanctuary was filled with people whose lives she touched. I wasn't very close to her, although I felt I knew her well from her our time together at church, baby sitting her kiddos, and hanging out in her home where we she cooked for me and shared stories about everything from marriage to childbirth and her fascination with natural healing. (I was in chiropractic school at the time which she thought was so cool, especially after a chiropractic adjustment allowed her labor to pick back up during her first home birth.) There were equal amounts laughter and tears as those who knew her the best shared their stories about who she was and the way she impacted our lives. She exuded joy and a Christ- like love. When you were with Lauren, she made you feel like the most beautiful and important person in the world. There seemed to be a recurring theme at her memorial: she poured her heart into sharing Christ's love with others in everything she did, even her smallest gestures. (I can attest to this from her sending me off with homemade goodies like soup and pickled veggies from her fridge because she knew I loved eating healthy but was a broke grad school student.) After her service I had such a perspective shift on what's important in this life. I kept her obituary near the door for weeks as I reminder to focus more intently loving and serving others versus earthly achievements. After that day slowing down to spend time with God and enjoying the people I love felt more important than ever, especially in a time where busy-ness is glorified and many people base their worth on their ability to produce. 

Losing my grandparents was a strange contrast. At the end of it all, much different circumstances still lead me to the same place of reflection and refocusing. They kept to themselves for the most part especially as they got older and their illnesses prevented them from getting out much, so their services were very small and quiet. They were simple, blue- collar people who worked hard, took care of their children/grandchildren, and managed to stay devoted to one another almost 62 years. Reflecting on their lives in a way sealed in what I'd been thinking and feeling after Lauren's service. They lived decent lives and took great care of all of us, but they never pushed the boundaries in living beyond themselves. While my grandparents were wonderful care givers that always, always took us in they never challenged us in areas of forgiveness, compassion, and loving one another through the types of challenges where agreeing to disagree was the only way to keep the peace.

It is often in trying times like dealing with loss and working through grief that interpersonal challenges within families bubble and boil to the surface. Our family was not the exception. The circumstances brought me back to thinking of the values I want to instill within myself, spread in my community, and foster within my own little family someday. With that in mind at the end of the day the things I want to focus on are being the best version of myself, spreading love in all I do, and leaving an imprint behind that goes beyond me to positively impact the lives of others. In order to do that it is so important to take the time to cultivate my spirituality, care for my body because it is my vehicle to accomplish my purpose in this life, and as the bible says "do all things as unto the Lord" no matter how small. 

This season has been challenging in many ways, but so very enlightening and I'm grateful for all of it. I have become more aware of listening to my body and spirit's cues. I have been reminded of what is important on an eternal scale. I have turned my trust and faith back over the the one who controls it all instead of believing the fallacy that my worth and success are solely dependent on my output. Everyday I think about if the areas I'm focusing my energy on connect to my purpose and leaving behind a legacy of love and service to others. I'm so excited to walk into the Spring, a season of growth and renewal, with a heart that is open and ready to receive both as a result of this precious time of rest and reflection.